What Level I Sank to During Droughtlander

Last evening, on Twitter, I was hanging around at one of the many conversations I barge into regularly.  Norma D, has a solar powered barge, so it is ecologically friendly and stylish to boot.   Prevents me from being thrown out of many conversations!


I have a tendency to drift, and was enticed by several no-gooders, to see how many euphenisms I could come up with for specific male body parts that are South of the Border. (Euphemism #1)

Recognizing that it is important for ladies and gentlemen to use phrases for the male parts that are suitable for mixed company  The usual terms arose (no pun intended):

The Skin Flute


Although not made of skin, this instrument has been known to play a tune that will curl your toes.

The Schwartz (Spaceballs)


The Schwartz is strong with this one, I fear.

The Schwanstucker (Young Frankenstein)


Frank and Beans


One Eyed Wonder


Mother Ship of Planet Heughan


Now we were at 7 Euphemisms.

Then my mind began to wander and improvise brand new terms that would be perfectly suitable in polite society.

Dangling Participle


Priapic Paradise

Queen Priapic will be thrilled with our collection!

Queen Priapic will be thrilled with our collection!

Gates of Love and Glory


Peters Privates

Private Peter has some Pistol!

Private Peter has some Pistol!

Willies Wonkavator


Pubic Poker

Pokers come in many colors, shapes, and sizes.

Pokers come in many colors, shapes, and sizes.

All Day Sucker aka Slow Poke

Slow is the best kind of poke.

Slow is the best kind of poke.

All Season Sausage – original or spicy


Foot Long Fantasy




Bowchikawowow Weener




Promised Land


Root of all Evil


I cannot understand a man’s preoccupation with measurement

Roto Rooter


Hanging Gardens of Babylon

The garden speaks for itself.

The garden speaks for itself.

Coital Compass

Always finds the spot.

Always finds the spot.

Honey Dipper ( goes with Honey Pot)


25 Euphemisms in less than an hour!  Whew I need a cigarette and a glass of wine!

Being the Cracklanders that we are, we decided to discuss Outlander appropriate terminology for all sorts of activities not suitable for mixed company discussions.

Corn Grinding; Dougal’s terminology for Making the Water Horse with two backs.

Hey baby, your place or mine?

Hey baby, your place or mine?


This is a tricky tactic allowing one to have sex while playing a musical instrument.  The stand holds the music.

(At least that’s what Angus told me when I refused to look at his) No picture available.

Claire’s House of  Pain and Pleasure

After the wedding night when Claire show Jamie how she plays the bagpipes, She decides to start a new training school.  In addition to blowing wind, she taught the manual dexterity needed to become proficient.


Searching for your Wee Herbs

Euphemism Jamie uses for an Afternoon Delight.

I decided after this I had turned into a 12 year old boy.  Soon I will be chortling at farts and poop!  Oh wait!  Too Late, I already am!

What does this say that this is my longest post (no pun intended) so far?