The Adventures of #NORMASFANFOLLOW in South America

Bucket Lists can help you focus and can narrow down a few of the many options we have in our life.  No one can have everything, so it’s a good idea to select those that are most important.  One thing on mine is to travel to every continent in the world.   Each of these trips have proven to be exciting and often difficult.  This last trip to sail around the southernmost tip of South America, fit that description to a tee!

Now, Norma D is no greenhorn when it comes to travel nor am I opposed to roughing it.  In addition I am very scientific about what I pack, what goes in my carry-on, what goes in regular luggage, location of excursions, weather on the days we are there, and how much I pack.    It’s not that I’m anal retentive. It is like solving a puzzle for me to put together outfits, so I look glamourous for every occasion while wearing each piece of clothing at least 3 times.  Colorful turbans do a lot for my costumes.  I start with an excel spreadsheet, but I do not have OCD.  I am PREPARED!  I bring my own booze!

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@beulahcrusoe exclusive

Fortunately, I find humor in most situations, so these experiences are fun to share.  This trip held many firsts that had my head spinning a bit!  We flew to Atlanta and waited 4 hours to board our flight to Buenos Aires (BA).  I met the pilot and he promised me a smooth ride (no pun intended).

I insist on at least two people in my cockpit and I would be delighted to include Norma D!

I insist on at least two people in my cockpit and I would be delighted to include Norma D!

The BA leg of the flight would prove to last 10 hours, so I packed my carry-on accordingly:

  • Medicine, including Band-Aids, Neosporin, Ibuprofen, Tums, Chap Stick, eye drops, cough drops, automatic air sanitizer.
  • Sundries, including hand lotion, hand sanitizer, toothpaste, toothbrush, mouthwash, wipes, nail clippers, tweezers, scissors, safety pins, lipstick, comb, blush and highlighter.
  • Inflatable lumbar pillow, Neck Rest, travel blanket, eye mask, and folding foot rest (short people’s feet do not touch the floor)
  • I-Pad, earphones, charger.
  • ID, Passport, Charge Cards, Rosary, Tickets and Money.
  • Fine Jewelry.

I reiterate, I do not have OCD!

So, I board the plane and  get into my 4’ x 4’ seat space.  I inflate my pillow, put my bags of equipment in every conceivable spot I can tuck something, unfold my footrest, unfold my blanket, plug in my charger,  put I-pad in seat pocket with ear plugs attached, put my carry on and purse in the overhead compartment, buckle my seat belt, and sit back ready for flight.  But I do not have OCD.

Then the pilot announces, “During baggage loading the airplane was damaged and we will be unable to repair it quickly enough for this plane to leave.  We will be transferring all passengers to another plane and will be delayed two more hours.”

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The rear wheels collapsed under the strain of so much luggage with the initials N.D.

Several thoughts passed through my mind:

  • “Fook! Fook! Fook! S–t! S–t! S–t!”
  • “And they try to tell us they are gentle with our luggage. Someone threw the bags so hard, the rear wheels collapsed!” 
  • “I’ll never find where I put all my crap!”
  • “Thank God I’m not flying in a broken plane!”
  • “I have now been up over 14 hours and my face is wrinkling as we speak.”
  • “Why do they have a spare airplane lying around, unless it is broken too?”
  • “Thank goodness I didn’t put my Snoopy pilot hat, goggles and scarf on.

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Finally, we get on the new plane.  The handsome pilot comforts me.

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We’ll get you to South America , baby. Save a tango for me!

@holaassandy exclusive

I get in my 4’ x 4’ seat space.  I inflate my pillow, put my bags of equipment in every conceivable spot I can tuck something, unfold my footrest, unfold my blanket, plug in my charger, put I-pad in seat pocket with ear plugs attached, put my carry on and purse in the overhead compartment, buckle my seat belt and sit back ready for flight.  But I do not have OCD.

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@beulahcrusoe exclusive

We arrive 10 hours later in Buenos Aires, and are loaded into a bus to go to the ship.  However, since there are people still disembarking from the previous sailing, we have to go on a tour of the city to kill time.  I have been up over 26 hours and we are touring in a bus.  I’m like a cranky baby taking a car ride with my exhausted parents.  I fall asleep immediately and missed all of the tour.

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We arrive at the ship and I realize that ports all over the world look exactly the same.

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As I board the ship, a smiling girl asks if I want my picture taken.   I say, “Are you sh–ting me?  I have been awake now for 28 hours and I have to be at a fooking tango show in 5 hours!  Posing for a picture would be like putting sticks under my finger nails! ” Then she gave me a whole bottle of champagne and said, “Here, drink this!”   I hugged her and proceeded to get snockered.

Then we get to the Tango Show……it was breathtaking and I had never seen so many variations on the “dance of love”.   The 8 dancers moved as one, with exact kicks and turns that looked like the workings of a clock.   I was in love with the dance!    I drank wine, ate tapas, and tapped my foot.  My favorite tango was a variation on Roxanne from Baz Luhrman’s “Moulin Rouge”.

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The man in the top hat was my tango partner.

All right fellows, I've got my partner picked out!   Norma D!   and a 1-2-3!  Brilliant!

All right fellows, I’ve got my partner picked out! Norma D! and a 1-2-3! Brilliant!

The next day we went on another tour of Buenos Aires and went to the tomb of Eva Peron.  We all held hands and sang, “Don’t Cry for me Argentina” from Evita.

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We returned to the ship and had to participate in the life boat drills.  Our captain insisted!

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This is an example of the one man-one woman wraparound jump into the life raft. Good aim is essential.

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I just love a captain with white hair. Where have I seen him before? Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? Titanic? So familiar.

                                                                    @holaassandy exclusive

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I so love a sailing ship in stead of the fancy cruise ships! Just as soon as we get out of this glacier, we’ll be able to leave!

 

 

I set sail with a few friends during The Adventures of #NORMASFANFOLLOW in South America!

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@beulahcrusoe exclusive

Join me for my next chapter of The Adventures of #NORMASFANFOLLOW in South America where I learn to slide in penguin poop and Meet Sidney Crosby’s father!

 

6 thoughts on “The Adventures of #NORMASFANFOLLOW in South America

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