Let Me Entertain You and We’ll Have a Real Good Time, Oh Yeah

 

 

As Chief and Only High Priestess of the Church of Heughanology, it is part of my duties, to explore basics of the lifestyle (not a religion), in greater depth.  One of the most vexing realities of our dogma is Starz Tease Expertise.   In the Language of Heughanology, this term was defined as follows: 

 

Tease Expertise: The art of revealing almost all of an area on Sam’s body, without actually showing much of anything.  This can be very difficult during high winds and rainstorms.  Starz is particularly talented in Tease Expertise.

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This is not a new technique.   It is a time tested, well known tactic, to keep someone or something interested (as in the dangling carrot) in someone or something without giving away the whole garden.

 

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Who has not looked at this picture 1,000 times and thought, “If Only the black part of the picture could be 6 inches lower” and/or “Sam, jump up and down twice. Please!” and/or   “We need more light” It’s hot, but frustrating.  Starz Tease Expertise.

This one is a favorite in which Sam looks as if he is saying, “Am I really going to expose myself like this?” and then goes for it, but only so much.  Even Cait is dipping her head to get a little better angle on the view.  Can you imagine how many times they had to practice this to get the right amount of tease factor?  Too little…too much?  Starz Tease Expertise.

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Meme courtesy of @SirenSassenach

 

Sam is not alone with having this problem.  Notice Cait’s bewbs (how could we not?)

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First of all we need to commend Sam for keeping his eyes on her eyes.  He may have used his peripheral vision for the first 6 episodes of the series, but in this shot, he is trying to be a gentleman, truly.  Now Norma D is a woman’s woman, but even I had the urge to push those puppies inside her dress!   I wonder if she had a person just to make sure the nips were not showing there.  Starz Tease Expertise.

How did Cait not breathe a sigh of relief when he got to the last lace on that bustier?  How did she not ask him to scratch her back?  Great acting!

Our problem is the biggest tease of all –Droughtlander!  Starz has extended the tease beyond all limits of endurance.   We only have so many pictures in which to cull physical information about Himself.  We have closely examined every scene, every nuance, i.e. “Did ya no see the strumpet at the wedding?”

Now we are a bunch of dangling carrots.  Starz Tease Expertise.

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We need the outtakes more than one time a month (on the 4th).  I haven’t had the  “curse”  for some time, but it sounds strangely reminiscent.     I encourage revolt.   Deluge Starz with requests for more images and outtakes.  We are sick of entertaining ourselves!  I’ve resorted to writing this stupid blog!

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Listen Starz, we are fed up!  And after Thanksgiving,  our followers feel like this:

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