In the Beginning
Chief and Only High Priestess of Heughanology
As I sit waiting to assist acolytes with church guidance, I reflect how The Church of Heughanology came into being. I recall the night I received my calling. About four weeks ago I had watched the Wedding episode on Outlander for the 125th time. I retired feeling a little guilty about overdoing the slow motion on the DVR. In my dreams, I had a vision. It was Sam Heughan. He came to me in all of his glory and gave me some Scottish pearls. He seemed to have quite a few strands in his sporran, which made me leery (Not Leghair).
After the eyegasms and kegeltingles subsided, He begged me to help him start a church for his followers. He wanted it to be a place where all devotees could find answers and friendship. He said that only I had the skills he needed to make that happen. I hesitated, but after he French kissed me, I was sold! (OMG he is so big and muscular!) Then he said I should call myself the Chief and Only High Priestess of Heughanology. I felt like a crown had been placed on my head. Afterward, I laid back on my fainting couch and smoked a cigarette. I wanted to determine the basics steps I would need to begin. First, I needed to handpick a minion to assist me in my work. Since I was in labor for 3 months with my second born child, I recruited her for the position of Primary Hand Maiden to the COHP. She would be placed in charge of Fan Art and any blog corrections. Incidentally her page is titled Hand Maiden Tales. (Submissions should be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org) Secondly, I would need to make sure everyone understand that this was not a religion. There is another Church out there who puts itself out as a religion (I can’t specifically name it for fear of legal action). In reality like The Church of Heughanology, it is a lifestyle choice. I did not want to be dealing with the about tax evasion. We pay taxes! So I developed our tagline:
A Lifestyle, Not a Religion
Next, I wanted to prepare some rules. I was tempted to use the 10 Commandments, but this is a secular site and they didn’t really fit with our objectives. The whole business about coveting, adultery and all of that made me squeamish, given the adoration of all that is Sam Heughan by our married followers. Hell flashed before my eyes.
So I started with 18 by-laws which would give members a guideline for their behavior. Basically…. So the religion was born from a vision, one that came to me in my dreams. I have been anointed by Himself to turn that dream into a reality. Truly. My next article will be about development of the Language of The Church of Heughanology and the Levels of Membership.